Partition Of Noted Organization Dissociated

I still have an eLJay?  oh my, I would have kicked me off by now. 

Oh, and I'm engaged...lit'rally, engaged, no joke. 





I'll never grow up, never grow up, never...never...grow..nev...

Equilibrium and 300 are both worth watching...
And the soundtracks are amazing too. 
I want, though not as much as I want a keepon (hint hint)
That is all.

Fie, I say

Better when busy, but best when broken.

this is an update to keep me from losing my eLJay. 

I sure hope  I wasn't tagged with ubiquitin last night...cause that would suck.  My peroxisomes would wreck havoc on me then.  Like a mof. 

to mourn the tragic death of a fellow eLJay...whilst the end was swift and, we are told, quite painless,lazeracorn, God rest his 0s and 1s,  was taken from us all too soon and in the webspace that he once occupied is a fast-closing vacuum of witty banter and a life worth attending to. 

Alas, the complications that eventually accumulated to the tearful deletion of said eLJay were not mal-intended but thusly fell into the cracks between salvation and life, leaving we, the onlookers remorseful and wondering, 'might we have done to spare both he and us this loss?"

The answer [according to Spinal Tap] is none: none more black. 

And so, with a tear falling from each eye, we turn in hope of a brighter 'morrow for ourselves and rest in the blessed recycling of bandwidth, which promises that the substance which once made the dearly departed so personal will appear again here and there throughout the fabric of our very being. 

"...paved with unbought stuffed dogs." -Hemingway.

Well, just the quotation, but I'm just so gosh-darn proud of myself for having used something so witty as a drunk Hemingway Quote.

Winterim is underway. Danni's runnoft to Houston for the weekend and only gNate is here. While there's never a dull moment with gNate, he's on WOW and I'm on DII, so we don't really spend quality roomie time spooning on the couch or anything..all alone for the weekend, and no iPod to break yet. give it time though...

I was up til 3:30 rushing Cal last night and didn't fall asleep until 4:45 for the tremendous number of thoughts running through my head. I'm not sure that I'd call it worry so much as considering of options. So much to do and I'm not commiting to any of these plans yet..sigh

The Road to Hell is paved with unbought stuffed dogs.

Fat kid, did you know that I was in a barbershop quartet? If ever we made a movie about it we'd dramatize it by killing off our baritone everytime that we had to replace one (it's the only rotating voice and we've been through...fourish already in little over a year).. Kinda like Spinal Tap and the death of all their drummers.

I feel evil because today, after finishing counting inventory in my area, I was promoted to auditor. My job entails looking for mistakes in other people's counts and making them hate me. At first I was a little intimidated, not wanting to leave a bad rep and all, but then I decided, it being my last day and all, I might as well. So I was going along, finding the occasional mistake. Then someone must have thought that I was picking on his section, asked me why I didn't count this part of quantity 608...so I did. I came up with 593 beyond a doubt and thusly he may be recounting all of his parts still. It's never wise to test the tester.

Hey fat kid, did you know that I sing? Is that interesting? Maybe you're just fat.

I cant wait until today is done. It's been overtime since 10am and I'll prolly be here til 5 or so. 7 hours...time and a half...10.5 hour day. sigh..

Die young and save yourself

SO AMAZING. I got an A- in Genetics. I think I love that man. It's such a shame that I won't ever have him (as a teacher) again. Alas, I will have to take another class with 'Doc,...such is life.

Mar 23: Milwaukee, WI @ Rave at The Eagles Club


'Bout time I say! I'm giddy all over...and I'm at work, so it's rather significant for me to be showing any amount of emotion, much less this much! Heheh, I really should go.. It's not like I'll have something better to do than see Brand New in Concert. Time to go mark my calender

That is all

Work reminds me that people are just as dumb as when I last worked with them and that I can find them exactly where I left them. Ouch, that was cruel. But unfortunately rather true.

Needless to say, I'm at work right now. Yay for 10 min. breaks...now if only they were more often. Two breaks and then a 30 min lunch just doesn't do it for me. Especially considering how much I do relative to what I'm expected to do... sigh. My modesty has left the building again.

Break requires me to wake up earlier than I do during school and spend more time 'working' than I do 'learning.' I'm not sure how that's break, but if there were grades, I'd get all A's and never see the scholarship to justify my devotion.

So glade that it only lasts a week-ish..can't wait for Histology...please let band tour cancel.

That is all my time allots...so long, dearest people enjoying their breaks..

It's rather amazing. I'm used to being annoyed or realising I'm annoying around this point, and yet, nothing. It just fits.


One more final tomorrow.. It's of the imfamous Genetics class that I'm currently get a C in.

I was told to write about gNate...and how much of a friggin' twitch he is. I mean, you ask him a simple question like, "why the mof do you want to become a pastor?" and he breaks down into tears and and tells me that he just wants lots of one on one time with little boys. Er, rather, something about "passing the pasta, pasta[/or]"
Talk about a case for Freud. Kaytea, sorry, but you're just his cover story. And then he was raping this guy on the phone. I mean, shoot dang...

Time to tutor

I'm so sorry to have wasted your second semester so beligerently. I'm sorry that I never meant anything and that my best laid plans to help you grow as a person and as a Christian were for naught. I'm sorry that I couldn't break you of any of your competitive and stubborn habits that make you so generally viscious with word and at game. I'm sorry that every effort that I made on my part showed no improvement and that I wasn't worth you standing up for to your parents. That I was less than Lutheran and thusly a waste of your time. I'm glad that you've found your way into the hearts of other boys and can only hope that they will be more capable than I in portraying true caring to your heart and soul.

I'm sorry that I neglected every one of your attempts to show me how much I meant to you and that I was less than willing to persevere in the promise we made. I'm sorry that I've learned to hate the sound of your name and the reference to you. I'm sorry that I would do it all again if I could and that even though I knew it would be my undoing, that I was so willing to selflessly give. I'm sorry that I handicapped you and distracted you. I'm sorry I brought any dissention between you and your family. I'm sorry that I changed you at all.

First semester you broke me emotionally. Second semester, I fell apart mentally. Summer I put as much distance between you and me so that there would be no going back. Every girl that I kissed or kissed me was another reason why it would never work since if you wouldn't give me closure, I would make my own. You could never have given me a real reason not to have been happy together, so I saved you the trouble.

Thankyou for taking so freely of what I gave and offering nothing in return. The tears that left your eyes were selfish and cold and any love you showed me was smothered by the approval-seeking that is your home. I'm glad you found a place where you belong and that I can let go of a tattered memory rather than the sterling image of my past. I'll try to remember you as a kind and loving girl rather than the cold woman you have grown to be today.

All that remains comes down to two questions: what you were supposed to say but never did, and what ever became of the journal. Though you loved me once, I doubt not that the journal found its sad demise in a fate undeserved for a second of the love poured into the pages. What a shame it is to see so clearly that the ghosts of my childhood are rosied by my kind heart. What a tragic shame it is that all the emotion we shared ends in something so demeaning as a series of sorrowful 'wish you had never happened to me's. At least I see you clearly for once.

And what would someone want to hijack my eLJay for? It'd be the dumbest thing to take ever. I'd be like...ok, I'm glad that you can sound as pathetic as I am! And you're a moron.

I'm much more familiar with leaving a relationship upon the first sign of dissention. The first fight, the first significant 'unforgiveable' annoyance..And yet, somehow this isn't the case. Aside from now entering a rather trying week of revisiting a painful past (yes, I mean Jasmine), our relationship began in a fight (fine, two fights) and both parties justified the relationship worth fighting for and worth holding fast to. How very peculiar. I'm not used to so much tragedy within the first month of a relationship, but I've set a new record for tears cast in a six hour stint and regrettably puffy eyes. I hadn't cried that hard since Simeon.

t'Would appear that I am a mess. Alas, I think I have it better than Danni at the moment. "Hold your head high, heavy heart."

I'm not sure. I'm not entirely capable of thought given the time and all. Something to do with Francee telling Jasmine about Danni. I'm sure that there was some reasoning for it. Maybe so that she would be let off lightly and less prone to some uncomfortable situation, but whatever. Right now, tonight, I'd rather be stubborn.

It certainly wasn't her place. There were no feelings to spare and no memories to preserve.

I'm so glad that we could take this opportunity to hand Jasmine all the evidence to prove her parents right about how I'm just like all the other non-lutherans. How I was insincere all along, how I was mal-intentioned, how I would move along as soon as it was over. It's awesome to prove myself to be everything that I tried so hard not to be.

Brand New isn't happy music. It's such a internal struggle.


The semester is so over. I have a quiz tomorrow and a test next week. That's about it, forgiving exams. I'm so glad...no, I'm not. But I should be so glad to see the semester ending. It's such a bother. What am I to do next year? MCW, I suppose. But what about it? Sigh.

ends DECEMBER 3RD AT 11:59:59PM E-mail, call, IM, do whatever you see necessary to ask all those pressing questions that you have.

But much more importantly...

BRAND NEW'S CD ROCKS MY FACE OFF. I'm so happy right now. Most people are owing it to Danni, and in part, I am happy about that, but really, aside from her and having finished that Genetics test, it's the CD. So good. ohmanohmanohmanohman so good.

I drew a line on my arm with a pencil to help advertise.

Her name is Danni. She's very sweet and I am content as can be. It's not a surprise to anyone who has seen the two of us hang out, but as for this crowd, you haven't so it probably is.

I think the last week of school, I'm going to print off a few books from Project Gutenberg. That would be amazing. heheh, can't wait!

I was trying to figure out how to justify my vanity, my judgmental ways, my personality flaws, my quirks...all that stuff. I really don't think that I know how to describe it all. Therefore, I am asking those of you who read this to respond (anonymously, if that is more comfortable (which is really a bit of a bonus to anyone who reads this without having LJ)) in a comment with some sort of description of me. Naturally a sincere but plainly honest answer is preferred. Quite honestly, I don't see any need for softening the blow by beating around the bush or censoring the answer. Nor do I recall any specific need for privacy, but Live Journal does provide for that too.

I never do this and it does feel a little on the pathetic side that I'd have to go through this kind of process to figure me out, but I'm kinda at a loss. Thanks for participating.

It's always an odd feeling coming back somewhere or seeing someone and realizing the world has still been turning beyond my line of sight. I don't think I ever obtained the understanding of object permanence. I remember sitting in kindergarten not understanding how it was that people could think differently than me. Like, maybe there should be one brain in the sky that we were all connected to. I do believe that was my first moment of anti-capitalist sentiments.

I mean, it's not like I don't realize that everything turns without my preservation, but I'd rather it didn't. I'm just so darn needy.

INTO THE OCEAN END IT ALL

I should have never gotten beyond elementary school for the aforementioned reasons. Not like there is a teacher who could have taught me that. I'd really rock out at every class by now.

The Lock-in was canceled on account of all the snow. And the causitive closing down of the freeway we hoped to take. Little things like that just add up and before you know it, you're heading back with a hood full of snow after you've realized that you've made snow-fight enemies with virtually everyone on your Y-Min team. Mind you, mostly girls. And Hell hath now fury and a woman with a handful or two of snow and easy access to your face.

Hope you come down with something they can't diagnose, don't have a cure for.